alex's playlist

act 1 (just the three of us): mr brightside
act 2 (wandering): a burning hill - cast the bronze
act 3 (the party): amsterdam - the warmth
songs for the future

key: ❁ - reflection | ☼ - ophaniel | ◈ - julius

mr brightside - the killers - 3:42

coming out of my cage and i've been doing just fine
gotta, gotta be down because i want it all

now i'm falling asleep
and she's calling a cab
while he's having a smoke
and she's taking a drag
now they're going to bed
and my stomach is sick
and it's all in my head
but she's touching his chest now
he takes off her dress now
let me go
and i just can't look, it's killing me
they're taking control

jealousy
turning saints into the sea
swimming through sick lullabies
choking on your alibis
but it's just the price i pay
destiny is calling me open up my eager eyes
'cause i'm mr. brightside

i never
i never
i never
i never
 

a burning hill - mitski - 1:49 ❁

i've been a forest fire
i am a forest fire
and i am the fire
and i am the forest
and i am a witness watching it
i stand in a valley watching it
and you are not there at all

so today, i will wear my white button-down
i can at least be neat
walk out and be seen as clean
and i'll go to work
and i'll go to sleep
and i'll love the littler things
i'll love some littler things
 

cast the bronze - raynes - 3:51

or could i stand to maybe show a little skin
tear all my clothes and patch ‘em up with safety pins
nobody warned me we’d get sick of centerfolds
i’m getting bored or getting old
so i don’t feed you my heart well enough
but i don’t need any part of your love
go tell someone what you wish i would’ve done

would it be wise to play this closer to the vest
apologize for being green or underdressed
do i imply that i’m just beautiful and blessed
i try to care but just care less
so you moan and compose a response
but you don’t even know what you want
go tell someone what you wish i would’ve done

make me bleed if you need to confirm that it’s something i can do
and i'll paint it red
if you’re still unsure let me lie for a day
before they formally announce me dead
when i’m gone, cast the bronze for the bust of my head
to be displayed in the library
engrave that i gave my consent
to be anything that anyone prefer i be

i can’t show you how i don’t know enough
and i’ll just let you down
maybe that’s the chance you’ll take
 

frozen pines - lord huron - 3:57

deep into the night
with the moonlight as my guide
i will wander through the pines
and make my way to nature's shrines

i wake up in the morning, oh, and i don't know where i've been
all alone on a mountainside and huddled in the wind

and it feels like i've been away for an era
but nothing has changed at all

there was no one else in sight
just the endless frozen pines
but i wonder how they know
'cause they don't die, if they don't grow

'cause I know i don't wanna stay here forever
it's gotta be moving on
oh, i don't wanna be the only one living
if all of my friends are gone

i will be waiting for you on the other side of the frozen pines
i'm gonna find a way through, there's another light beyond the lie
i will be waiting for you on the other side of the frozen pines
i'm gonna find a way through, there's another life beyond the lie
 

amsterdam - imagine dragons - 4:01 ❁

i'm sorry, mother, i'm sorry, i let you down
well, these days i'm fine; no, these days tend to lie
i'll take the western train, just by the side of amsterdam
just by my left brain, just by the side of the tin man

your time will come
if you wait for it, if you wait for it
it's hard, believe me, i've tried
but i keep coming up short

kinda thought it was a mystery, and then i thought it wasn't meant to be
you said yourself fantastically, "congratulations, you are all alone!"

your time will come
if you wait for it, if you wait for it
it's hard, believe me, i've tried
your time will come
if you wait for it, if you wait for it
it's hard, believe me, i've tried

but i won't wait much longer
'cause these walls, they're crashing down
no, i won't wait much longer
'cause these walls, they're crashing down
and i keep coming up short
 

sunburn - treis - 4:14 ❁

display my frayed arms for applause;
bow when the curtain calls the show to end with cause
sustain dismay while i suture up the name
engraved in scrapes along the box that i have made

no synonyms for futures that don’t come
succumb to being numb for quick compensation
“well who’s to blame for the container i’m confined?”
i ask unknowingly with my name along the side

maybe i need a sunburn
to feel the heat of life return!
i’m afraid of the future
cause i know it will hurt

to be honest i’m ashamed; there’s only me to blame for this!
commodified experience hoping strangers would return my innocence!
i’m looking for salvation in the expression of your faces!
someone tell me, do you think i’m worth saving?
 

growing up - run river north - 4:03 ☼

i will love in this life
until i finally have to go
said i will love in this life
until i finally have to go

well i know i have lived
just a wrinkle of my life
and i hear so many times
it'll be over if i blink twice

i've got my life to love
and i'm here to take what's mine
i've got my life to love
and i'm here to take what's mine

i'll take my breaks with my sins
i'll do as i do please
with my friends 'til the end
there lies my loyalty
with my friends 'til the end
my lies, their loyalty

i used to close my eyes
to what stirred under my bed
now they're open wide
to the monsters in my head
instead of claws, they whisper lies
sinking fear in quiet steps
so i will fight in the light
'til i give my final breath
said i'll fight in the light
'til i give my final breath

growing up child
is just a matter of time
for giving all you've got
so won't you dance under the sun
growing old
feels like you're giving up your soul
i'd rather give it freely
to the ones that i call home
 

the warmth - whale bones - 6:45 ◈ ❁

persevere through debris
help me rebuild consistency
exposing all the wounds
i need to feel
i want to heal

i want to learn to trust again
to open up to let you in
i want it
because i know that you would understand
a genuine attempt at helping me to mend

i can feel the warmth inside your heart

i was scared to be so vulnerable
because you wouldn't like what you would see
or do i take myself too seriously?
i think i'm stubborn to forgive
myself but i can learn to live
because i'm trusting in your patience and
i know you'll help me see this straight again
maybe i'm a better person
and i'm not deserving of how i repent

the world could crash, take everything
yeah i could be alone, but i can make it
endure the past
pursue relief
i'll never be alone
yeah i can make it

all alone i'm wrecked without a way to cope
speak with truth and show me i'm alright
give me hope

don't let me run off in fear and defeat
everything here is still more than i need
because i've never been the one to say i'll take it
if you told me you were willing to give help
and if i ever had a need for sentiment i wouldn't tell

i don't feel alone anymore
i don't feel alone anymore
 

all these things that i've done - the killers - 5:01

[he's not quite here yet this is for like one/two arcs from now alex so we'll pick the relevant lyrics then]
[for now, just know we listen to this song and go "mmmm cow man"]
 

crush - dbmk - 4:06 ◈

[he's not acknowledged-crush-level yet about julius but the lyrics are relevant to his current thoughts about julius so they're here]

and you will always cover every base and every breath
but if i’m hovering close to you don't tell me when i need rest
i could crush it down, tell my skeleton to lead
i said posture, poise, and promises are all that i believe
and you will always think that there is something up my sleeve
but my love is not a weapon and a pen is all i need

i could climb inside your head like i’m putting on a sweater
woven into overcast like extra gloomy weather
and you reciprocate by kindly smiling with your teeth
but my courage came and went and i've got nothing underneath
i could climb inside your heart
pull the covers, draw the blinds
romanticize my insecurities to fit the times
i’m sorry if i scared you with my teenage sort of speech
and i might just be human if that's all that i can be